Protect ya Neck
A lot has been shifting in my world.
I’ve been at the same restaurant job for about nine months now. I wanted to leave long ago, but didn’t have the experience to go somewhere else.
When I first moved to the city and began my job, an incident happened with management at the restaurant. I kept it a secret for a long time, feeling scared and alone. I finally told my secret to another boss and it turns out the restaurant decided to give the manager a tongue lashing and that’s about it. I was hurt by that.
Let’s just say what happened, and their inaction, was probably not the best move on their part. They gave me a lot of power by deciding not to do anything. I could lay a suit on them that would bring them down. But I stayed because there were some good things about the job. The other girls there, the money. My shifts weren’t too bad.
Finally, things mounted up and the bad surpassed the good. I decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. I have found a new and exciting job that I can’t wait to start. It’s amazing that as I’m about to venture into an upgrade that I know I deserve, I feel guilty about abandoning my first employer.
I know disclosing this all on here isn’t the smartest move of mine, but I don’t think it will hurt either. I stayed silent for too long and made a tricky decision. When I feel guilty, I remind myself that it is my job to protect myself. I felt unsafe and unhappy where I was, and so a move to a new job is nothing to feel guilty about. I deserve this. I deserve better.
There is one person I need to credit for reminding me this and supporting me indefinitely. Jeff has stunned me with his voice for me. He gave me the confidence to realize I deserve better. Maybe not even that. I think he just pointed out I’m secure enough to deal with it. Any shred about my self-doubt I have—he diminishes. That is how you know you have a good one. Someone who will protect you and advocate that you protect yourself. That’s golden.
I don’t know, y’all. I was once a scared little girl who moved to New York to do big things here. I’m hustling to feel safe and happy and it’s working. But I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m proud of myself for getting out. If something is making you unhappy or makes you feel unsafe, get out. It’s not worth the risk or even your unhappiness.